Friday, August 20, 2010

Please help! How to Punish my teenage stepdaughter?

I've taken everything from her (gradually) and she still gets in trouble at school. Today she was caught cheating for the 2nd time. Shes not allowed to go out with friends, she doesnt have any drive to do any extracurricular activities, and she's bringing home straight F's. HELP!!


BTW she's 14Please help! How to Punish my teenage stepdaughter?
After a certain point she doesn't have anything else to lose, there's no encouragement to do better. Get more involved in her life, what she's doing, who she's talking to. What does she want to do with her life? Does she want to end up as a drop-out working fast food or does she have dreams. Have her figure out some goals and work together to figure out what she can do to reach those goals. She may have reached the point where she doesn't want to keep trying and failing so she just doesn't try anymore because it's easier.





You may want to have her checked for learning disabilities which would explain the grades and her attempts at cheating.Please help! How to Punish my teenage stepdaughter?
First- get her bio parent to provide a front with you to punish- you have no authority. Second, obviously something mental is bothering her, and you should try to think about that. She is not being stupid just because she feels like it. Is she upset about her parents seperating? another younger sibling getting to much attention? Depression? Drug abuse?





It sounds like it is therapy time, not punishment time. If you have taken everything away and she still acts out, then she wants attention, or help.
Punishment isn't working. What you need to do is HELP her. She's probably antagonistic and belligerent, too? There's underlying reasons why kids act like they do -- when they behave badly, get poor grades... She sounds like she has some ';issues'; she's not equipped to handle at the age of 14. (My son's 14.)





In any case, what I suggest is go with her to talk to the school guidance counselor (if you feel the counselor is a good one, that is). Or look into some behavioral health specialists -- see if there's a Children's Hospital near you and look into their behavioral health department. They may be able to get to the bottom of it.





Perhaps she just needs more of your husband's attention? And yours? Maybe have a family game night, play cards (let her choose something)... go to a movie together, do something fun as a family together -- see if you can figure out something SHE'd be interested in doing.





But I do think she needs help and attention, not more punishment.
Maybe the answer is not punishing her. It sounds to me like she's trying to tell you something. Try talking to her about it (without getting mad at her). Maybe she just wants attention, she could need a tutor, maybe she just wants to be noticed, maybe she's holding a grudge against you/someone else, maybe...the possibilities are endless. you really need to talk to her about it.
Sounds like she needs more focus in school. Maybe she needs to go to tutoring, or you and her father need to take a closer look at her schoolwork. Get involved in her homework, give her help when she needs it, etc. She obviously needs attention, and right now she needs it from you guys. So the best thing is to spend more time with her working on improving her grades.
maybe she is struggling in school and she needs help. try to get her in to a tutor or an after school program that will help her with home work and school work. or maybe you should sit down with her everynight after school and go over her work with her help her to get her homework done. maybe you should talk to her teacher.
i'd be embarassed if that was me, im 13.. maybe ill grown out of it?! lol





idk. thats not right. but i do have a thing for getting kicked out of class. lol


its happend like 4 times in the past month. lol


i like arguing with teachers too. haha. but oh well. at least i get good grades, and i do lots of sports. smack her around a little bit. lol
she might have a learning disability. sometimes teens act like this because they want attention, are lazy, or just have problems reading. check it out with the school counselour.
ADHD honey


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